The Day the Clocks went Back (published in Read This Magazine 15)
The day the clocks went back
the greenest eyes bled grey
And fled
painting a cleft of smog
across the sky in their wake.
The day the clocks went back
a silver bullet fell
It raised
the whitest flag to gravity
and punctured peaceful Europe.
The day the clocks went back
two broken wheels fell off
They rolled
themselves like waves to a frenzy
and settled as spray on the shore.
the greenest eyes bled grey
And fled
painting a cleft of smog
across the sky in their wake.
The day the clocks went back
a silver bullet fell
It raised
the whitest flag to gravity
and punctured peaceful Europe.
The day the clocks went back
two broken wheels fell off
They rolled
themselves like waves to a frenzy
and settled as spray on the shore.
Comments
Love how we both went such different ways with the same (almost) first line. 'The greenest eyes bled grey' is wonderful and like the half-rhyme with bled and fled. I'm a fan of that as you know.
Repetition good too, also a fan, hee. So dense with the symbolism nashy,you didn't actually explain it to me did ya, but the mystery makes it more appealing. 'A silver bullet fell' is just werewolf goodness to me.
And 'the broken wheels fell off' is such a lump in the throat line. The image of them rolling like waves to a frenzy and settling on the shore is just pure angst. Bravo!
I love it and it was lovely to share the muse with you, and the chocolate. xxxxxxxxx little lachrymosa xxxxxxxxx
omg that's so beautiful and a great way to end a poem
You are easily without the shadow of a reflection of dusttrail of a hint of a thought of a brothers cousins stepsons friends friends little sister of a speck of doubt the best poet writing on the internet.
I love everything on here you should have so much belief in yourself,I wish I could create something even close to the stunning things you conjure mr poet